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The weekend is coming and it's waaaay past due for some; "Weekend One Liners."
(BTW - Which way is the wheel spinning??? - Watch carefully and it changes direction)
-(BTW - Which way is the wheel spinning??? - Watch carefully and it changes direction)
Always give 100% at work:
12% Monday
23% Tuesday
40% Wednesday
20% Thursday
5% Friday
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Lord, if I can't be skinny,
please let all my friends be fat.
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I have kleptomania,
but when it gets bad
I take something for it.
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Friends don't let friends
take ugly women home.
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I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE,
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
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No one ever says, "It's only a game."
when their team is winning.
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Gargling twice a day is a good way
to see if your throat leaks.
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How does a rude Italian-American
describe where Canada is located?
describe where Canada is located?
He says it's; "Uppa U.S." (Upper U.S.)
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Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.
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Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park.
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I FOUND JESUS!!!
He was in the trunk of my car when I got back from Tijuana.
(For those slow on the uptake Jesús is also a Mexican name)
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If at first you don't succeed...
then skydiving is not for you.
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Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
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And last but not least...
And last but not least...
LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES,
USE BIRTH CONTROL
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