Sometimes we need a good laugh

Weekend one-liners...

To start the weekend off right here are some one-liners you may enjoy. 
Mind you, I said you 'may' enjoy. 
(BTW - Which way is the wheel spinning??? - Watch carefully and it changes direction)
-

-
(Sign located at a customer service center)
-
Helen Waite is now in charge of all rush orders.
If you are in a hurry, just go to Helen Waite. 
(Hell and wait)
-
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life. (unless I buy something)
-
One good thing about Alzheimer's is that
you get to meet new people every day.
-
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
-
Hard work never killed anyone,
But why chance it?
-
If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong
-
I asked God for a bike, but I know he doesn't work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked God for forgiveness.
-
Some political candidates say God told them to run for president
When I hear voices I know it’s time to up my medication.
-
And last but not least...
-
My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

0 comments: