Weekend one-liners...

Filed Under : Joke of the day by Cat in the road

To start the weekend off right here are some one-liners you may enjoy.

Mind you, I said you 'may' enjoy.
(BTW - Which way is the wheel spinning??? - Watch carefully and it changes direction)

(Sign located at a customer service center)

Helen Waite is now in charge of all rush orders.

If you are in a hurry, just go to Helen Waite.
(Hell and wait)

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life. (unless I buy something)

One good thing about Alzheimer's is that

you get to meet new people every day.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.

I don't like to interrupt her.

Hard work never killed anyone,
But why chance it?

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong

I asked God for a bike, but I know he doesn't work that way.

So I stole a bike and asked God for forgiveness.

Some political candidates say God told them to run for president

When I hear voices I know it’s time to up my medication.

And last but not least...

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Smile God loves you . But I don't (Humor)