Smile God loves you . But I don't (Humor)

I purchased a new mattress set this weekend so I put an ad on Craig's list to sell the old one. When the delivery men came I asked them to move the old box spring into my driveway. I wanted to take some pictures before it was placed in the garage. The ad had ‘4’ vivid pictures, a definition of what I was selling, (Queen sized box spring) and the statement that, “it’s clean and bug free.” I don’t mind serious inquires, but I have to get somewhat sarcastic when I'm asked stupid questions. Here are some of the queries I received; you can’t make this stuff up.
-
Q - "You say the box spring is clean and has no bugs, so why do you have pictures of it outside?"
My Reply - "It was complaining that it never got to play in the yard."
-
Q – “What does it look like?”
My Reply – “I’m sorry but that’s classified information.”
              (This response was because there were '4' pics)

Q – “I see you’re selling a box spring under household items. Do you also have any jewelry for sale?” (This one really had me stumped, but I had to reply)
My Reply – “I was storing my valuables in it after the banking collapse so there may be a trinket or two left inside.”

And my favorite...
Q - "Do you still have the box spring, and does it squeak?"
My Reply - "Not since the mouse that lived inside died."
----------------------------------------------------------